Why Identity Is Important

February 2022

By: Sam McManus

You can put you identity in anything.

I’ve spent a lot of time picking out the right outfits to make sure people perceive me a certain way.

And it wasn’t just others’ thoughts that I cared about; I also wanted to convince myself that I was the somebody who I wanted to be. I’ve tried to wear the right clothes to win over the approval of others and to help convince myself that I have value and worth.

Our identity can be placed in anything. So often we search for and anchor our identity to the ways of this world. We exhaust ourselves by seeking our worth and validation from the patterns of the world that aren’t capable of providng to us the acceptance that we truly need.

As Christians, you are given a new identity through Jesus. When we are in Christ, we no longer live in as sinful beings, but we can instead clothe ourselves with a new identity that was given to us through Christ. When you abide in him, you can operate from the work he has done for you on the cross instead of having to earn your own value, worth, or approval.

We want to protect our identity and constantly be aware of where we are deriving our value. Identity is important because it informs us of our responsibility, actions, thoughts, and values. Everything about us flows from our identity.

Ever day you will be tempted to anchor your identity in something temporary and worldly, and you must constantly remind yourself of what your true identity in Christ really is. When we remind ourselves of God’s truth and his view of us, we are realigned to the extravagant love the father truly has for his children.

Make it a habit to reinforce the truth about yourself consistently by turning more often to God’s word rather than the temptations of the world.

4 Reasons You Should Be Praying

May 2021

By: Sam McManus

How many times have you heard the phrase “Just pray about it?” Many people know that they are supposed to pray, but why exactly should you be praying? There are 4 important reasons you should pray continuously in your life:

  1. You’re Commanded to Pray

Did your mom ever tell you to do something growing up and when you asked her “Why,” she responded with “Because I said so?” There are some things in life we are asked to do and we must do them wholeheartedly without leaving room for arguing

2. Prayer Tests Your Faith

Even though you’re commanded to do something, it doesn’t always mean you’ll follow through. God asks you to pray and watches to see your obedience as a means of evaluating your trust and faithfulness to him.

3. Prayer Unlocks God’s Plan

God invites you into a relationship with him through prayer so that you can play a part in unlocking the plan God has for the world. God knows the prayers you are going to pray, and those prayers are stepping-stones for what is to come.

4. Prayer Anchors Your Relationship with God

Ever wondered why an all-knowing, all powerful, and forever existent God would ask you to pray to him? He does it so that you remain tethered to him in an intimate relationship with him. Afterall, God is deeply relational, and he longs to hear from you daily.

When you begin to realize the purpose behind prayer, you’ll start to pray more radical and meaningful prayers over your life. Don’t settle for simple boring prayers that you’ve prayer hundreds of times before; begin to change your life today by changing your prayers.

If you aren’t sure what to start praying as a single guy, I wrote 75 different prayers you can begin praying right now in my new book The Prayerful Pursuit.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Sam McManus is a current seminary student who is passionate about helping men pursue what matters most. As a single guy serving other single guys, Sam enjoys speaking to men’s struggles through his book, articles, and online course. He now lives in Louisville, Kentucky where the Lord continues to use his season of singleness as a platform.

Using Singleness to Serve

May 2021

By: Sam McManus

It’s easy to become selfish when you’re single. Afterall, you don’t have a spouse and children you are providing for and you have the freedom to pick and choose virtually everything you do daily. 

However, thinking about yourself too often can be dangerous. The truth is, when all you think about is you, you might accidentally make an idol out of yourself. This is why in your single season it’s important to constantly shift the focus from yourself to the lives of others around you.

Serving is a great antidote to selfishness and as a single guy, you have a the opportunity to serve more often during this season of your life. But what exactly does that look like?

I like to think about serving in these three capacities:

Day-to-Day

Every day, ask yourself, “What am I doing today to make someone’s life better?” Some ideas here include sending encouragement to a friend over text, praying for your friends, or giving complements to someone else. Serving doesn’t always have to look like an all-day event!

Week-to-Week

What would it look like to give up a couple hours a week to make your neighborhood a better place? Be sure to get involved with a local ministry or organization such as a church, food pantry, homeless shelter and begin going all out each week. You never know who you’ll meet and how encouraged you’ll be when you leave. There are more opportunities in your city than you think.

Month-to-Month

Have you thought about being creative in the ways you serve others? What does it look like to serve others with your finances, or could you donate some of your unused household items to someone else? You could also mentor a younger guy at church or sponsor a child overseas. Use your own passions and talents and start being creative in how you give your resources away.

There is a mysterious equation when it comes to serving. To most in the world, serving is something that will drain you, your bank account, and your time, but in God’s economy, serving will always leave you more filled up then when you started. Don’t’ delay and use this unique time in your life to help others improve theirs!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Sam McManus is a current seminary student who is passionate about helping men pursue what matters most. As a single guy serving other single guys, Sam enjoys speaking to men’s struggles through his book, articles, and online course. He now lives in Louisville, Kentucky where the Lord continues to use his season of singleness as a platform.

8 Quotes for the Single Man

May 2021

“Consistency compounds.” – John Maxwell

Having an abundant number of small habits in your life is a good thing, but often doing these small things with integrity may seem pointless. Overtime the consistency you show will compound into something greater. Don’t underestimate your small habits.

“Disciplined use of the time everybody wastes can give you the edge.” – Dan Kennedy

We all know someone who is not using their season of singleness well. Imagine the residual benefits you will reap as you plant good seeds now by discipling yourself in this season of singleness. You can have the edge! 

“It is always better to run to something, than to run from something.” – John Maxwell

During this time in your life, it can feel like you are running from many different things – breakups, bad friends, or your old habits, but just avoiding these things often isn’t enough. When you discover something better – new habits, new friends, new goals, you’ll naturally want to leave the old ways in the dust.  

“The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.” – Mark Twain

This time in your life gives you the chance to refine and discover what your purpose is. You have a unique set of talents, gifts, and passions and it’s important you use them in order to fulfill the assignment you have on earth. How are you operating in your strengths?

Sometimes, the smallest acts of obedience and trust lead to the biggest results, the biggest blessings, and the biggest miracles.” – Craig Groechel 

In our culture, it’s easy to get caught in the hype of needing a big breakthrough or dramatic experience to give you progress you want, but it’s often through small steps of obedience where we find such things. How are you being obedient with the decisions you have in front of you today?

“It’s hard to improve when you have no one but yourself to follow.” – John Maxwell

You need others in your life in order to continue becoming a better version of yourself. Who you surround yourself with matters and you have an incredible opportunity to handpick who is in your circle.

“We can’t fix what we won’t take the time to understand.” – Bob Goff

In a fast-paced world, many of us want quick fixes to the struggles and pains we have in our life. But avoiding the hard work of discovering and understanding the root of our sins and the origin of our hurts will only make things worse in the long run. Make sure you have people in your corner helping you dig up your most complex areas in life.

“If you try to build intimacy with another person before you have gotten whole on your own, all your relationships become an attempt to complete yourself.”  Dr. Les Parrott

Singleness offers you an opportunity to dig into you past and find freedom from what has been holding you back. Avoiding this can cause you to put too great of expectations on your wife down the road. Make sure you are becoming the right person during singleness instead of looking for someone to complete you.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Sam McManus is a current seminary student who is passionate about helping men pursue what matters most. As a single guy serving other single guys, Sam enjoys speaking to men’s struggles through his book, articles, and online course. He now lives in Louisville, Kentucky where the Lord continues to use his season of singleness as a platform.

3 Financial Gains of Singleness

January 2021

By: Sam McManus

Being a single is no doubt a unique season you’re living right now.  You are afforded all sorts of opportunity, but have you ever thought about the financial opportunities you have right now?  While most of us will probably end up dating someone in the relevant future, we are (hopefully) saving a bunch of dollars by not being in a relationship.

A friend was recently telling me about the financial demands that his relationship with his girlfriend brings about.  Their relationship is not defined by money, but it requires a significant investment of cash to fund dates, meals, gifts, and much more.  I love that my buddy is able to pursue the woman he likes and work towards marriage, but I couldn’t help but think how financially demanding a relationship really could and will be.

Us single men have incredible opportunities to take the money we’d invest in a woman and repurpose it for other causes.  Here are 3 financial opportunities singleness affords us now:

  1. Give More Often

I heard recently that the fastest way to receive is to give.  Though our primary motive for giving shouldn’t be to receive, we know giving is the right thing to do.  The money you’d normally be spending on rooftop dinner dates or hand delivered bouquets of flowers can be repurposed to help others in need.  Sponsoring a child overseas, buying groceries for your needful neighbor, or giving a more generous tip are all great ways to give the extra money you probably have as a single guy.

2. Save for Her

Guys, when the time is right and she comes around, she’s going to be expensive.  A few months ago, I decided to open a new savings account and name it “Engagement Ring Fund.”  I’ve taken small chunks from my paycheck and added it to this fund overtime, that way when the time for engagement comes around, I’m not scrambling for last minute odd jobs trying in order to seal the deal.

3. Reinvent Yourself

No doubt you’ve had some dreams of the person you could be spiritually, emotionally, or physically.  What better time than now to better establish yourself for the goals you want to hit in the future.  Maybe you have dreamed of getting in shape; invest some of your dollars into a personal trainer or a personalized workout app.  Or perhaps you need to attain a graduate degree for climb higher in your career; there is no better time than now to take some online classes and get closer to that promotion at work.  Investing some money into a counselor, books or even an online course are great ways to mature and cultivate growth in yourself.

Singleness is an incredible season that you may or may not have for much longer.  Use every opportunity you have now to reap the financial benefits of being out of a relationship.  Get creative and build an even more solid you with the extra dollars you have right now.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Sam McManus is a current seminary student who is passionate about helping men pursue what matters most. As a single guy serving other single guys, Sam enjoys speaking to men’s struggles through his book, articles, and online course. He now lives in Louisville, Kentucky where the Lord continues to use his season of singleness as a platform.

Transitioning Well in a Pandemic

November 2020

By: Sam McManus

It’s a crazy thought: around one-in-ten adults in U.S. ages 18-29 have moved due to the coronavirus outbreak.  With the job market turning in a new direction and with all the recent graduates from the spring and summer semesters, you might find yourself trying to transition to a totally new season of life.

But the pandemic has brought about challenges that many people haven’t faced before when moving.  Becoming content in a new city and in a new job is possible, but your transition is going to look a little different than what it might have looked like before the pandemic.  Here are 4 things you can do right now to begin to transition well.

  1. Find Community

Now this might be an obvious first thing to do, but this proves to be harder to do than ever before given current circumstances.  Community is essential in any season of your life because with the right people around you grow, gain accountability, and you are pointed back to the person of Christ you need to become.   Who you become in this new season is contingent on the people you surround yourself with.  So how do you find good people when everything seems to be shut down?

Church 

Even though many churches do not have large in-person Sunday gatherings, small groups have started back up and it’s easier than ever to get involved in one.  Find an all guys group or co-ed group today and begin to meet people in your new city.  

Fitness

Many gyms have opened back up and getting involved in one will help you meet people.  I love F3 because it facilitates free male community focused on Christ-centered community…and it’s free!  See if there is an F3 group in your area!

Volunteer

Find a serve team at a church and go all in.  I recently volunteered to help with the parking team at my church doing coronavirus testing in the parking lot and this was a great way to meet people I had never met before.  You may also consider volunteering at local nonprofits to discover the needs of your new city and meet a wider range of people.

2. Get in a Routine

With working from home and not having a ton of things to do in your new town, it’s easy to want to roll out of bed and do whatever you feel like throughout the day.  Getting in a routine will drastically advance your overall health and help you stay on top of yourself as you transition.

Wake up (early) at the same time each day, plan time to spend with the Lord each morning, and build exercise into your routine.  Eat meals at the same time each day and plan time to call friends and grab meals with new people you’re meeting.  Remember, what you focus on grows; if you focus on building good habits now, you could reap residual benefits over your lifetime.

3. Work Well

Gym shorts and Zoom meetings probably weren’t exactly what you had in mind when you accepted your new role at your new company.   Even though working might look different, it’s important that you still engage in your job and grow in your career.  Humans are designed to work and the more things you can do to connect to your original design, the more fulfilled you will find yourself during this transition.  You have an incredible opportunity right now to focus undistractedly on your roles and grow in your profession.  Grab virtual coffee with your coworkers, watch extra training videos, and learn as much as you can during this season.  You never know what kinds of things you need to learn now that will help you in the next stage in your life!

4. Set Goals for Yourself

Proverbs 29:18 says, “Where there is no vision the people perish.”  You want to thrive in this new season, so you need to set some vision for your life.  Create weekly, monthly, and yearly goals for yourself.  I personally think starting over your life in the midst of the pandemic is a big blessing; you get to focus more on who you want to become and work with minimal distraction to achieve the best version of yourself.

Set a checklist for yourself each day and write your long-term goals down and post them where you spend the most time.  Memorizing scripture verses or becoming debt free are great goals to set for yourself.  Physical goals are great too; I recently did a challenge with a friend to do 1,000 air squats in one week.  Get creative with your goals and get one step closer to the person you want to be and who God needs you to be.

In a time where a lot of things seem out of control and unpredictable, focus on controlling the controllables.  How incredible would it be if 10 years from now you could trace back habits in your life to beginning during this transitioning season you’re in right now?  Though it might be unusual, you have an incredible opportunity to radically transform your life by pursuing what really matters. 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Sam McManus is a current seminary student who is passionate about helping men pursue what matters most. As a single guy serving other single guys, Sam enjoys speaking to men’s struggles through his book, articles, and online course. He now lives in Louisville, Kentucky where the Lord continues to use his season of singleness as a platform.

Am I Too Content in My Singleness?

August 2020

Written by: Sam McManus

6 minute read

It’s the single life.  You’ve got time, a little extra spending money, and you don’t have to check with your significant other before you make plans with the boys this weekend.  Being a single guy is no doubt pretty fun, but how do we know if we are becoming too content with our lives right now?

Here are 3 quick questions you can ask yourself today to make sure you are spending your single years the right way:

1. How am I chasing the God-given purpose I have on my life right now?

God has given every human a specific and unique purpose.  Your purpose is what you were put on this earth to do and discovering this in our lives requires persistent prayer and mature reflection.  Our purpose combines our deepest passions, our greatest talents, and the results that matter most to us.  Uncovering each of these three areas in your life will help you reveal what your life purpose is, and your purpose will help you understand how you should be spending your time.

The single years you find yourself in right now have a purpose behind them.  It’s okay to be content right now while you are single as long as you are being active, living out your God-given purpose and pursue things in life that really matter and can make a difference in your life and the lives of others.  Take the chance to discover your God-given purpose and don’t wait to be married before you begin living that out. 

2. Are the habits in my life right now the same habits I want to bring into a relationship?

Sometimes contentment could mean we’re complacent. Take inventory of your current schedule and hobbies and inspect them to see if they align with your life’s calling and the person that you want to be five years down the road.  Construct life-building habits today such as learning how to steward your finances wisely, developing your personal leadership growth, or serving others more often so that you may reap the residual benefits of these habits over time.  Every day you have the chance to lead yourself and integrate positive practices that can help you become a better version of yourself. Get a head start now and bring these positive habits into your marriage down the road!

3. Are there any wounds in my own life I should begin to work through?

This is a big one.  Take some time to think through any struggles, past wounds, unforgiveness, anger, or poor habits in your life that you can begin to work through so that you may find freedom from these before you enter into a relationship.  As you notice these things, it is critical to walk through these past wounds in healthy community with a trusted friends and mentors.

The single years are fun years, and for most of us, they won’t last forever.  It’s a blessing to be content in this season, but the contentment must be a byproduct of the constructive opportunities you are uncovering with your singleness.   Make sure you are putting an active foot forward and pursuing things that really matter.